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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24258700">i bet you would've liked him</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/katotastic000/pseuds/katotastic000'>katotastic000</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:27:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24258700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/katotastic000/pseuds/katotastic000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mondo has things on his mind that he can't say out loud. So he pretends that his brother is still by his side to listen.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>176</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i bet you would've liked him</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It all started out when I thought "Hey, why not try to step out of my comfort zone with a first-person narrator?" Then I noticed that I don't know how to properly use contractions, so I just kinda went with the flow and vibes and at this point, I was too afraid to ask what the hell I was doing.</p>
<p>But it's still my creation that I have some soft of affection for, so I didn't want to let it go to waste and posted it anyway. Maybe there is someone out there besides me who actually likes it.<br/>Thanks for checking it out!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's been a while since I've done that, huh? Y'know, all the pretending that you're still around and listening to my shit. Guess it's a good sign that I don't need to make my therapist out of you anymore. And now it's just stuff I have to get off my chest or else I'll fucking die, or worse actually say it. So yeah, sorry for using you again but at least it's nothing bad this time, right?</p>
<p>I love him. And that's really bad cuz I can't think 'bout anything else but that when I look at him and I can't concentrate when he speaks and I freeze when he smiles and every time I hug him, I almost break his ribs cuz I don't wanna let go. It's bad and I dunno if I can tell him, I dunno if he wants to go that far, if he's even, y'know, into guys. But I <em>need</em> to tell him, I wanna hear him say it back and then just a thousand times for the sake of it.</p>
<p>The first time I looked at him, I thought I could bash his skull in with only my fist. I was pretty stupid for actually wanting to pull that off, he would've offed me on the spot. He looks like a porcelain doll with his pale skin and pop eyes, but what breaks when you punch him is your fist. Is it weird if I think that's… uh, I guess it’s <q>attractive</q>? That’s not it. I dunno if there’s even a word that doesn’t sound like I have zero idea how to use it.</p>
<p>He’s raw, y’know. His teeth are crooked, same goes for his nose by the way, and he's missing two. It's obvious that he lets his hair grow and doesn't care as long as it's not in the way, his eyebrows, too. There's not one day where he doesn't have ink stains on his thumb cuz he clutches too hard 'round his pen. He marches more than he walks, and his handwriting looks like it's printed. He’s got chapped lips, and you can feel the finger bones through his skin. He's a man of honesty, to me at least. He's him and he's not ashamed of that.</p>
<p>He's strong in his own way, one that I was jealous of when we first met. Heh, I'm talking like I'm not still jealous of him sometimes. But he puts up with my shit. Where everyone would just back out or stuff me into detention, he lets it happen. I can scream at him all I want and threaten to break everything in his room, he lets me scream. Then he gets some bandages and we throw down. He doesn't ask questions, he knows that I can't think when I'm raging and it feels good to let it out on something that gives you some feedback and kicks you in the face to remind you that you're being hella stupid right now.</p>
<p>Still, he's soft and he shows me that's okay. He cries, like, basically all the time. It was annoying at first, but I've gotten used to it. Whenever he cries, it means that he's happy in some way. He cries as thanks for the things I've shown him, cuz he's proud of me for wanting to become a carpenter, cuz he can't believe I'm his friend. He says I'm the reason he wants to never stay still. That responsibility makes me feel uneasy. It scares me.</p>
<p>I've told him that, I've admitted so many things to him, it surprises me sometimes. I still have that fear in me when I open up to him. I still think he'll reject me and hurt me where I'm exposed. He'd never do that, I know but I can't convince myself to trust him. I hate that, or me, really. That hasn't changed since the last time we... <em>talked</em>.</p>
<p>I knock on his door with my hands shaking and my brain repeating <q>leave, leave, leave, leave</q> and even if I tried, I couldn't cuz I can't move my legs. My eyes hurt, I don't let them cry, and they dry out, I don't breathe, and I almost pass out, I can't think, it's just <q>leave, leave, leave, leave, leave, leave</q> all over again. Everything is over when he holds me.</p>
<p>When I can't look him in the eye, he sits me down on his bed and starts braiding my hair. He'll whisper that I'm okay, I can take my time and he pulls a little at some strands to let me know he's still behind me. Or he leans against my back and I can feel his nose rubbing on my neck. He keeps talking to me and whispers the same things over and over again until they're branded into my brain.</p>
<p>When I can't speak, he reads to me. And it's so bad, his reading is so terrible. His voice is harsh and rough and loud, and he barely emphasizes but cuz he's never read a real book before, he's excited about every new word. He could go on and on without ever wanting to finish. He fills the room with his harsh and rough and loud voice that is unmistakably his. It's something where I'd actually say it sounds <q>like home.</q></p>
<p>I like his laughter, his monotony, as if he's reading his own laugh out loud. Though it seems like an act, I know that he really hasn't heard that joke before. He treats everyday stuff like he's sightseeing, like he's never went to karaoke or ice skating before. Because it's true, I worry about him. But then I see him light up when we're out to somewhere I've been a hundred time before and I remember that the world has things in it that make it worth to keep going.</p>
<p>I can't tell him. It's too much to fit into a simple <q>I love you</q> and I don't know what else to say. He'd never laugh at me or anything, but he'd reject me and that's already enough. I just want to stay like this forever and fuck it if that - and everything I just said -  sounds cheesy as hell. I want to stay crammed up in his bed where he has his arms around me and I can hear his heartbeat and his breathing, like he's actually alive and there and he won't leave me, and I won't let go.</p>
<p>I bet you would've liked him, Daiya. A lot. For so many reasons that I don’t know how to name ‘em all.</p>
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